Updated: Jun 13, 2018
Are you in the midst of a break up or considering how you are going to tell your partner it's over? The stress of beginning the conversation can be so overwhelming, you may find yourself postponing it and slowly backing off hoping they will pick up on your distance and desire the break up themselves. It is common to delay and wait until you feel its the right "time". The truth is this right time doesn't exist. If you wait until some right time it's typically when you have found someone else that has captured your attention and feel motivated to make it the right time. There is hope for a smooth peaceful break up even if you have already made some mistakes. Wherever you are in your break up process you can take positive steps that are uncomfortable yet mandatory for you to become available and healthy for your next relationship. Here are some helpful tips to consider:
1. Acknowledge your mistakes to yourself. What did you do in the relationship that no longer serves you? What part of you do you need to let go of for good. If you are having trouble identifying what this is then you will repeat this negative pattern in your next relationship so spend some time reflecting on it.
2. Be certain it is 100% over for you or if you are willing to work on the relationship. If you are certain continue reading the following tips. If you are uncertain, this article is not for you.
3. Consistent communication and action that is crystal clear that you no longer desire to be in the relationship. It should feel uncomfortable to you. The language you use must be kind, direct and honest. It doesn't need to make sense to them yet your actions MUST be in alignment with your words. You will be disappointing and hurting the other's feelings. This is natural and in the big picture very healthy. If the partner becomes negative and emotionally abusive then you must cut off all communication for the sake of both of you. You may need to learn some new skills in order to execute this effectively. Design a strategy for all possible actions that you can take to eliminate the possibility of emotional abuse. Be honest with yourself and seek help if you need support.
4. Trust that your partner will recover and eventually be grateful for the break up. A heartbreak is one of the most powerful growing experiences in life.
5. Always think of the best qualities of your partner and believe that they deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes them exactly as they are.