Updated: May 1, 2020
For those of you that are #quarantined with a spouse or partner, you are faced with new challenges and opportunities like never before. This global pandemic impacts everyone and their relationships. This is a stressful time where we need comfort and relationships more than ever. We will never be the same and must find ways to be resilient in our primary relationship.
Below are 5 tips that can help you strategize and thrive during this unforgettable experience.
1. Avoid All Major Life Decisions Until Quarantine is Lifted.
Thoughts of divorce, ending the relationship, moving, etc. may cross your mind yet you must focus on the positive traits within the relationship. It is not the time to make life changing decisions of any kind, instead exercise patience and more patience. The exception to this tip is life threatening situations that impact you or your loved ones. If you or anyone you know experiences domestic violence, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and get help 24/7 or go to thehotline.org. This uncertain time period requires maturity and a broader perspective that may challenge your emotions and current mindset. It is important to commit to the big picture and NOT let your emotions influence decisions. This could be a pivotal turning point in your relationship and the breakthrough needed to overcome past negative patterns. Allow yourself to show up in a new way that benefits you and your partner. Imagine a #winwin scenario.
2. Choose to Create One New Activity/Ritual together that You Will Both Remember.
The mind craves novelty and the limitations placed on everyone during this crisis makes life feel monotonous. Decide to do something you have never done before that will spark lightness into the relationship. Brainstorm of possibilities and include things you would never want to do together. Try not to limit your ideas and encourage one another to be as outrageous as possible. Utilize new spaces within your home, repurpose items for fun activities, create your own cocktail, make a relationship photoshoot, make Tik-Tok videos, start a legacy project, write a relationship prayer that you commit to say daily, read to each other, experiment with new forms of intimacy, exhaust the list until you both feel excited by something. Remember the purpose is #Fun#Connection and #Intimacy
3. Be Extra Nurturing and Lighthearted With Your Partner Daily.
It is important that you don't wait for your partner to show you that they are feeling stressed or upset before you show your support. Understand that both of you are going through different experiences even though you are together. Be as lighthearted as possible, keeping your sense of humor and childlike playfulness active. The stress is real and the crisis is impacting everyone in unique ways. Fear, stress and worry can cause a negative attitude and is challenging to overcome. Your partner may overreact or not respond to you in his/her usual behavior. It is imperative to be gentle with your partner especially when they anger or frustrate you. Do not take ANYTHING personally during this pandemic. Listen to your partner and validate their experience. Go out of your way to make their day brighter. Truly be there in ways that your partner recognizes as real support. Practice #Forgiveness and #Humility
4. Practice Direct Kind Communication.
Your partner is not a mind reader. Do not assume they should know what you need. Your own anxiety can be confusing to manage and interfere with your ability to connect and communicate. Once you are clear on your own needs, articulate them with tenderness and compassion. Nonverbals gestures, actions or other expressive ways can reinforce your positive intentions and love for your partner. It is important you accept and understand your own needs before you share them with your partner while you are emotionally fueled and confused. If you are confused or lost, be vulnerable and courageous to ask your partner for help in identifying your needs. Let go of your expectations and embrace your partner exactly as they are during this pandemic. Bottom line is #BEKIND.
5. Goal Setting, Make Short Term and Long Term Plans Together As A Team.
The process of making future dream plans can immediately uplift your spirits and inspire collaborative thinking. The #social-distance recommendations are taking a toll on everyone's mental health and leaving many with feelings of isolation and sadness. It is important to do everything possible as a couple to help combat any feelings of loneliness or depression. You are one another's greatest resource. Creating new goals together can have a significant positive impact on your mood and future. Imagine what legacy you want your relationship to leave behind. How will your togetherness benefit others? Write down goals and be specific with details and a timeline. If you are the creative types do a relationship vision board with whatever you currently have in your house. Once the restrictions are lifted, you will be prepared as a couple to seize all opportunities to live life to the fullest together. #Relationshipgoals
To get more tips to help your relationship thrive during this pandemic email questions: firstname.lastname@example.org.